Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Mother-in-law: be careful!

Got married we obtain the relatives of our partner whether we want it or not. In our rash century relationships between family members are getting more and more distant. But we should still admit that we have mothers-in-law, fathers-in-law, sisters-in-law, and brothers-in-law. It is up to the person what kind of relationship she/he will build with them.

If you live far away from each other, and visit each other once or twice a year, you have less objections. Relations are limited with phone calls on some occasions, postcards, and e-mails.
But the situation is different when you live close to each other and often communicate.

It goes deep into the years that mother-in-law is considered to be the most “difficult” relative-in-law. She has become a character of funny and sad stories and fairytales, sarcastic poems and songs. For example, “Mother-in-Law” by Huey Lewis& The News from album “For Cords and Several Years Ago”:

Mother in law, mother in law
mother in law, mother in law

The worst person I know
mother in law, mother in law
she worries me so
mother in law, mother in law
if she leaves us alone
we could have a happy home
sent from down below
mother in law, mother in law
mother in law, mother in law

Satan should be her name
mother in law, mother in law
to me they're about the same
mother in law, mother in law
everytime I open my mouth
steps in trying to put me out
how could you stood so low
mother in law, mother in law
mother in law, mother in law

Come home with my pay
mother in law, mother in law
she asks me what I made
mother in law, mother in law
she thinks her advice is a contribution
if she would leave that would be the solution
don't come back no more
mother in law, mother in law
mother in law, mother in law...

What relations to make with that “lady in black”? It is definitely better to have positive relations with any person, especially with her. At least there is one fact in her favor: she is the mother of your loving one. Moreover, with bad relations we ruin ourselves and lose our strength. As a result we have a headache and problems with our health. Do you need it? Definitely, NO.

So, how to establish and maintain friendly relations with mother-in-law and to enjoy friendly family life?

• Make first impression good. In order to reach it, perform some preliminary work. Ask your partner about his/her mother, what she likes, what hobbies she has, what people she is eager to communicate with, what her preferences in food are, etc.

• If you have not met yet, but heard a lot of each other, send your future mother-in-law a small present, e.g. a bouquet of flowers or a basket of fruits, on her birthday or some other occasion. She will appreciate your good taste and will be well-disposed to you.

• Remember that she will always be his/her mother, as yours will be yours. Children, not matter how old they are, are likely to listen to their parents’ advice and consider their opinion. Respect your mother-in-law.

• Try to be cooperators, not competitors. You both wish happiness and love to your wife/husband and her son/daughter. It is easier to reach the aim when there are two of you.

• Bear in mind that your mother-in-law is a woman. You may always find some common topics to discuss (e.g. TV shows, soap operas, flowers, fashion, at least weather). The overwhelming majority of women have the same household chores, such as home decoration, cooking, and shopping. Ask her, a sophisticated person, for a piece of advice. She will appreciate it.

To sum up, try to be friends with your mother–in-law, not enemies.



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