Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Mertua-Menantu

Segala sesuatu tentang mertua memang nikmat diceritakan. Kita bisa terbahak-bahak saat menceritakan peristiwa yang telah lewat. Namun tangisan darah bisa pula terjadi saat kita mengalaminya.

Di Indonesia dengan budaya keluarga-besarnya, menantu-mertua merupakan persoalan klasik. Tanpa menyerang kaum feminis, persoalan klasik ini lebih jamak terjadi diantara jenis kelamin perempuan: menantu perempuan 'melawan' mertua perempuan. Lihat saja sinetron-sinetron televisi kita, sajian 'pertandingan' mertua-menantu ini bisa jadi berbelas-belas episode tanpa berkesudahan.


Ruang konsultasi di koran dan majalah pun tak jarang disinggahi topik menarik ini: masalah antara mertua-menantu perempuan. Jawabannya nyaris sama, bagai paduan suara dengan satu dirigen: kalau anda menikahi suami anda, anda juga menikahi keluarga besarnya.
Kartun-kartun dan 'joke' orang bule lain lagi ceritanya. Yang lebih ngetop adalah menggali hubungan antara mertua perempuan dengan menantu laki-lakinya. Entah apakah ada kajian kultural-historis mengenai hal ini.

Heran yang kedua, (hampir) tidak ada mertua yang menyampaikan keluhan ke ruang konsultasi mengenai menantunya. Apa ini tanda-tanda bahwa masalah mertua-menantu hanya dialami sang menantu, sementara mertua sih oke-oke saja? Siapa tahu ada yang tertarik meneliti hal ini. Bukannya urusan konflik selalul melibatkan dua belah pihak? Kok ada konflik yang hanya dialami satu pihak?
Pendek kata, membicarakan dan menganalisa perilaku mertua memang nikmat, dimana saja dilakukan.

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Blogger Ms Andrie herlina┬« said...

Mengapa mertua tidak ada yang berkeluh kesah di salah satu rubrik? Jawabannya karena mertua selalu yang harus dimenangkan dalam segala konflik dengan menantu. Sementara pihak menantu harus selalu menjadi pihak yang disuruh untuk mengalah, bersabar dan kompromi. See.... menantu lah yang akhirnya mencoba curhat dan mencari soulsi di rubrik-rubrik.

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